The Key To The Law of Attraction

 

The idea that you can OM your way into success or having the life you want is misleading and causing confusion and disappointment.  There is a huge amount of people that have been misdirected into believing having what they want is as easy as simply picturing what they desire.  This misunderstanding has led some people to believe the Law of Attraction is a hoax and it doesn’t work.

Let me tell you why it hasn’t worked.  The Law of Attraction is largely misunderstood.

How the Law of Action really works

There are several steps to the Law of Attraction.  This is not something that you can do in a few minute of meditation each day.  It requires several steps to manifest what you want.

Thought

Before anything comes into existence, it has to start in the mind with an idea. Everything we do, have or become starts with a thought much like a building, it always starts with drawing out what you wish to build.  You take your desire and plan what it will look like, how it will function and feel and how it will be utilized.  By thinking through the details you create first in the mind or on paper (visualization) then bring it forth into reality.

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This is often where the law of attraction stops…or at least many people believe it stops.  Think about your dream or goal and it will happen; that’s the idea.  That is where the epic fail comes in.  Some things may indeed happen this way, but very few. There is so much more to this process.

Mindset

Have you ever uttered an affirmation and thought – yah, right!  Who am I kidding?  Or had a dream or desire and thought, well, I’m sure that would work for someone but probably not me.  This is the next and critical step.

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You cannot receive what you don’t believe you can have or achieve.  If you believe you are not worthy enough, good enough or capable enough no omming in the world will bring what you desire to you.  Additionally, if what you want is something that you believe you should not want or have you will sabotage your own efforts.  Anything that causes you to believe something is not possible for you for whatever the reason is a limiting belief and must be addressed. Limiting beliefs must be overcome first, otherwise you are wasting time and defeating your own efforts.

Ignition

Once you have washed away the limiting beliefs and you have your vision that you wish to manifest, the final step is action.  Minute or massive, perfect or imperfect action must be taken.  It doesn’t matter if the action you take in the direction of your dreams is exactly correct, but you must do something besides just think about it!  You simply need to start and much like a GPS system the steps you take will redirect or recalculate along the way.

IMG_0575If you sit in a car, have a destination in mind, program your GPS but never put the car in drive you are going nowhere fast!  You can imagine the restaurant you wish to go to, you can almost taste the food, you can hear the atmosphere you can desire this with all your heart but you cannot get there until you put the car in drive!  Once the car is in drive you can set out in the wrong direction or make a wrong turn on your way but when you do that the GPS will say…”Make a U-turn when possible” or redirect you with a different route to your desired destination.  This is the Law of Action and the sign of a great GPS!

Blastoff

Your dreams are the destination, your visualization the GPS and what actions you take are the force that drives you to your destination.

One of these steps without the other is going to produce limited or incomplete results if anything at all.  Once you put them all together you have the key!  Dreams are realized when clear visualization meets focused action.

Now that you have the keys, put your motor in drive and go get those dreams!

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Did Your “Calling” Lose Your Number?

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So you don’t know what you want to be when you grow up? That’s ok. Yes, I said it, it is totally ok!

This doesn’t mean that you just sit back and wait for the lightning bolt to strike or that “moment” when your purpose just hits you – it rarely happens like that. Few people knew at a young age what they were destined to be, and some of those who did know decide part way through their life that maybe they need to be something different anyway.

So if the Aha moment isn’t necessarily coming and you don’t have a clue what you were put on this earth to do, what do you do? How do you get to where you need to be when you don’t know where that is?

You Are Not Alone

As a coach I see many people in this conundrum. They know they are not currently fulfilled or doing what they were called to do, yet they have no idea how to find their “passion” and their calling isn’t dialing in!

Many are surprised when I tell them they are not alone, they feel like they are the only ones stumbling around in the dark bumping around in a fun house at an amusement park, however it is not fun nor amusing. There is anxiety in their voice, they must have a purpose, they have been told as much. Why is it so easy for others to find their purpose and so hard for them?

How Do I Find It?

First off, let’s break this myth that it is easy to find your passion. I have done countless exercises with people and they themselves have taken numerous quizzes and questionnaires (some proven, and others just facebook algorithms) and each person is moved at different times with different tools. You see there is not really a viable, “5 Tips to Uncovering Your Passion” that works for everyone.

What works best in my experience is when people take action. You see I don’t believe in the Law of Attraction as much as I truly believe in the Power of Action. They both work on the same principle, however attraction does not work without action.

You cannot OM your way to success or purpose. You must step into a direction, any direction and begin where you are with simply a desire. This does not have to be perfect, and likely it will not be.

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Your GPS (Guiding Passion System)

You may step into your desire in entirely the wrong direction. You might be going down the totally wrong road and you might spend a little time on this path before recognizing that something doesn’t feel right. Or maybe obstacle upon obstacle pops up preventing real progress. You keep trying your heart out because this has to be right, you have put time and energy into it, you don’t want to waste that time!

Even if you head out completely wrong, you end up feeling it, and noticing that this is just too much. You may want to quit, but I warn you, don’t do it! Keep plugging away, change a bit of direction or approach, ask yourself some quality questions and sit quietly receiving answers. Hire a mentor, one who has walked the road before you. One way or another, you will be guided to “make a u-turn when possible” or recalculate your plan. Much like a navigation system, you can’t get redirected to a new route if you are in park afraid to back out of your driveway because you may make a wrong turn. Trust me, the worst wrong turn is no turn at all. Inaction is the killer of purpose.

You may head into the exact direction of your purpose and head smack dab into it. Your purpose may end up looking precisely as you expected or totally different, but either way, when you end up looking it square in its face and you know you have hit what you were born to do.

How will I know?

When you stumble, or walk confidently, into your purpose, or it taps you on the shoulder and says, “Hi, this is your sign” you will feel it. The feeling is a lot like love, it makes you warm inside, it fills you with excitement, you have an all consuming desire to do more of what this is to experience more of this feeling. The most common reaction I hear is that people find a sense of peace when they have found their purpose.

Now don’t get me wrong, everything doesn’t turn into rainbows and kittens when you find your purpose. There will be work to be done, you might find that you have found your calling, but you cannot fully step into it because you have bills to pay, mouths to feed. It is ok, once you have found it, just start small to move in ways that continue to build on that excitement. Fit your purpose into your life as you can and continue to develop and grow with it.

Ready, Fire, Aim!

Yes, this is not a type-o. The best way to find your purpose is to do. Don’t be afraid of the mistake or the wrong turn. Just move in the direction you think is forward and assess. If you need to recalculate or adjust your aim, at least you will have a point of reference of what didn’t work.

So go out there and shoot for the stars! If you miss, adjust your aim and fire again!

 

The Message

Here's your sign!
I have said before when I get a repeat message in my life, in any capacity, it makes me think the Universe is trying to tell me something. Right now, it feels like the Universe is screaming! I am being bombarded these days with news of deaths and illness in my direct circle.

The Picture

Let me go over some of what my current landscape looks like today:

Close friend looses 37 year old family member/Spartan racer and very strong healthy man, to condition he’s had for life. Leaves behind a legacy of greatness and living, together with a wife and 3 young children.

Family member has stroke and is facing uncertainty, and a whole bunch of change in his life.

Close friend’s mother has just entered hospice care. This woman’s mother blossomed following the tremendous grief she moved through after her husband died. She went from being this quiet, devoted wife to the party organizer at the assisted living facility for her new-found friends. She became someone always doing something fun and most often things she didn’t do when married.

A new, but dear friend, announces he’s about to take up his battle with Cancer, one that he’s certain to overcome, but a battle nonetheless.

A mentor of mine, for whom I run his local group, has died in a tragic accident at 33, leaving behind a huge legacy, a young wife and a large, amazing community called Live Your Legend.

A sister of a family member has been placed into hospice after living with MS, Cancer and metastatic Cancer. Preparing to leave a full life of all that was dear to her.

What does it mean?

I have to wonder – Is the Universe trying to tell me something? OK, I get it! No more messages at this time please!! Live life while I am here!

As you know, I walked away from corporate life a few months ago to move my business from a “side job” to my full-time focus. I can honestly say, although the road is tough and a bit scary for its uncertainty, I absolutely love each day. I mention this at this time because it is really, really important!

We have one certainty the minute we are born, that we will die. We have no idea what the road has in store for us, but we can bet on an unforeseen circumstance coming along at some point. What that unforeseen thing is, and how it will show up in our life is unknown. Will we be able to provide our family and loved ones the comfort of a full and beautiful life well lived?

A Time for Reflection

I am spending some time in reflection. Am I living the life I believe in? Am I chasing money at the expense of what is truly valuable in my life? What is truly important to me when faced with the end of my days, or a life change that will dramatically altar my sense of “normal”? Do I believe I am using my days to their fullest and living my values? Would I be living any differently if I were faced with the knowledge of my days ending?

If I had not taken the leap to leave corporate by now, I think I would be doing just that at this point. However, since I have taken the leap, I now look to two people who have just died and am so moved that each of them have been living such amazing full and inspiring lives. They were strong, purposeful people leaving behind more than some of us will after many more years than their short time here. They died while fully engaged in this thing called life, they weren’t just earning money and paying bills, they were living fully.

My Desired Legacy

I work each day to continue to reach out to people and help them consider new possibilities in their lives. I hope to be able to encourage others to reach for their dreams despite any odds they feel there might be. I hope in my life to make a positive impact in as many lives as possible to say, you matter, you can do it and I believe in your dreams. I also hope to be one of the people in your life that lets you see you can have the life you desire and it is worth reaching for. Finally, I hope to die while living fully and doing the work that I love and connecting with those seeking to do the same.

Please let your light shine while you are here – we owe it to the world!

12 LESSONS LEARNED WHITE WATER RAFTING THAT APPLY TO LIFE

The river of life

The river of life

I just returned from a trip to the American River, I realized that white water rafting is quite like life. Below are the lessons that I feel best apply to enjoying the journey of life.

1. Have a guide – either someone who’s run the rapids before, or is excellent at reading the river to help you avoid rocks and strong currents that could flip your raft or pull you under.

2. The calm spots are far more enjoyable with community.

3. When the wind picks up, if you have many people paddling in unison, you will still move forward. If you are alone, it will take a lot of work and you may not get anywhere or even drift backwards.

4. If you paddle strongly when approaching the rapids you can better position yourself for the optimal ride.

5. Sometimes the best thing to do is lean in and hold on!

6. When the big scary rapid has been passed thorough, when you are exhausted and drenched by waves that seemed determined to swallow your raft – you will feel elated and energized for the experience and look forward to the next one.

7. It is important to celebrate your successes with your raftmates.

8. The rivers are unpredictable; no two are alike and no single is the same each day.

9. In the midst of great mountains, the persistence of water has created amazing rivers with abundance and beauty.

10. Staying in your raft is a challenge sometimes.

11. Bringing a cellphone is a BAD idea!

12. The ride is far more fun if you are fully participating and present.

We are just rafts in the rivers of life – Are you enjoying the ride?

Focus on what – not how

I have just made a move across country to take a job at a pretty awesome company. Many people when they meet me, they ask, “What brought you out here?” I figure enough people ask, and enough people are unhappy where they are, maybe it was time to make this a more public story.

Growing up on the east coast I always wanted to know what it was like to live on the west coast (and the girl with straight hair always wants curly!). When I was 19 I was planning to move out to California and pursue education in the music business. This plan ended up getting postponed, looking back it was likely a lifesaver, but the dream and desire never left, just got put on the back burner.

A couple of years ago, I realized my current job was likely not a long-term fit for me based on many factors. One night I just sat down and since I knew I needed to continue a 9-5 as I build Thrive Life, my life coaching business, I brainstormed. I thought about what were the elements of a company that I would want to work for? What would the culture be? Where would it be located? What was my “pie-in-the-sky” goal company? If I could work for anyone, who would want to work for?

I came up with two companies that I thought had models that I wanted to emulate in my own business. I remembered advice I had heard a long time ago saying that the best way to understand how a company works is to work for them. So I sent out my resume to Apple Inc. and Virgin Companies.

The two companies have so many traits in the way the run their business and very importantly, how they treat their employees and customers that resonate with me. I didn’t know if either company would have openings that fit my qualifications, or that they would be interested in relocating me as both companies were out of my area, but that didn’t matter. I didn’t worry about the how, just the who.

The trick is not to know how it will work out, but to get started and allow the hard part to be worked out by the Universe. I call this a trick, because I think this is the part most people are tripped up by. Most people get caught up in the details of how it can happen and sometimes that is enough to stop them from throwing it out to the Universe at all.

Do note, the timetable for this major change was not over night. It probably took a little over two years between the time I decided and the time I finally got an interview with one of my dream companies and subsequently landed the job. I did put into place items immediately that would move me in the direction I wished to be. I sent my resume out, I joined each of their job websites, I stopped by their sites regularly to see if something new had opened up and maybe something I had not originally considered.

This month, as we move into Spring and the season of new beginnings, I encourage you to review an area of your life that might not be the best fit for you and brainstorm your ideal solution without worrying about if it’s a feasible solution or how to accomplish it, just what would you want it to look like. Then move toward that vision as you can in small steps, and leave the details out of your concern.

I’d love to hear from you to hear what you decide to move towards – leave a comment below if you are willing to share.
Set course on a new day

To Leap or Not to Leap – Not a Question!

You must leave the ground to fly

I talk with people a lot about taking risks. Personally I think taking risks is the most fulfilling way to live. When life gets predictable and too comfortable people have a tendency to get stuck and stop growing.

I am someone who considers herself experienced in this area and therefore feel like a good guide for most. I have done what some only dream of, and some claim “could never do!” A few years ago I quit my 3 jobs, sold my house, sent my daughter on her freshman year of college and took my son and dog to an island in Central America to live for a year. Recently, I left a 5 year career in my home state where I was fully established to take a chance on a job in a state I had been to once (for my interview) across the country where I know no one, for an opportunity with an amazing company who had let the previous employee go after a very short period.

I do however, consider myself a calculated risk taker and I believe this has served me very well. I carefully think through a situation and review any consequences I can see. Once assessed, action follows. Before I moved out of the country I set criteria I couldn’t live without – there was no specific number, these were just the elements that absolutely had to be present in the new location. Luckily I do not have tremendous needs, so the number was fairly small. Once I found the location that fit my criteria, I decided that was where I would relocate and went to visit for a weekend mostly to give my father some peace! I had already decided it was perfect.

A little research before any big change, and even some of the small ones, is definitely necessary but then take action! To every West, there is an East if you take the wrong exit off the highway, find the onramp and try again! Leap, a net will appear although, most times you’ll find, one isn’t required, or that it’s a simple as taking the next exit.

Risk taking is not without its concerns and stresses. Before most of my biggest risks I get butterflies and fears about making a bad decision, but I move forward in spite of the fear and feelings. I have done this enough times to understand the difference between an experience being different and unknown to it being dangerous. I suggest you practice with the little things and learn to decipher the differences in your own experiences and gradually move to bigger things.

There are little things I encounter each week that I may hesitate to do for fear of failure or how the action might be perceived by others. No one wants to be rejected or look badly to others, but for me, the opportunity that I might regret not having tried or been true to myself is worse. I often think of the worst case scenario – if I do something that is not received the way I hoped, at least I know and won’t waste any further energy on it. Win, win!! If I do it and it is received how, or better than how I hoped – then I win again!

I save a lot of energy and time by making a decision and leaping and not worrying about the net, I know if I miss my mark, something will be there to catch me, or I may land somewhere better altogether. This is certainly a muscle I suggest everyone exercise.

What risks are you not taking because of fear? Break it down, calculate and then take action! You will likely find a great freedom to facing the unknown and from there you are limitless!!

Hold Your Own Key

As we venture into a brand new year, many people take this time to assess their past year and their future goals. If you are reading this blog, you too are probably one of those people. Resolutions are designed to bring people closer to happiness or to the idea they hold of what happiness is.

Often times I find that a person’s idea of happiness for themselves includes actions of another. Now that is not to say this is a bad thing, however it bears some exploration. At times when you probe the question, “I am happy when_______________ “and that happiness involves the actions (done or not done) by another person, you are giving your happiness power away. The statement “I will be happy when I am married to a wonderful man/woman” requires many actions to be taken by another individual, for which you may or may not control. This is only one blatant example, but do you see how it might matter?

I often find when looking at an individual’s goals that they are so focused on the end result they fail to see they are giving away their power to be happy or successful to someone else. For example, often sales people tack their goals to the number of customers they have or sales they make. Do you see how that sets them up for an excuse to be unhappy? A sales person has no control over if someone buys their product or service. A more productive option might look like this: I, salesperson, will make 40 calls to prospective customers and 20 maintenance calls to current customers and write 30 proposals for existing or new customers.

Do you see how that goal still puts people in mindset to propel them forward without tying their happiness or success to the customer buying something? This also allows for the little beauty called integrity. This type of goal will allow the sales person to decide that maybe their product isn’t well suited for a particular customer, maybe something else would be a better fit. Do you think that if you goal or happiness is tied to the other person buying the product a sales person will have the same focus? If the sales person has made the call and listened carefully to find out their product didn’t fit the customer, do you think that customer might have confidence for a future, maybe bigger sale later?

So back to the idea of what happiness looks like. I suggest you take a good look at your resolutions and goals for the coming year and see if you are giving away your happiness power. I encourage you to rethink any goals that rely on the action of another to make you happy/accomplished/successful and return that power to its rightful owner.

By aligning our goals with actions under our control we can continue to strive to improve and grow all while maintaining integrity. A goal achieved at someone’s expense never feels as good as one in which you push yourself and achieve it and more people benefit in addition to the goal setter.

I don’t know about you, but I like the power to create my own happiness and not wait or expect anyone else to provide my happiness. In the end, if I own it, I can share it with others and we can enjoy our happiness and success together.

Here’s to you handling your keys and riding that happiness to your goal destination!

Your ride awaits

Your ride awaits
Photo Credit PJ Farinha