The State of Happiness

Why do so many people seem to be searching for happiness these days?  There are books about it, movies about it and every advertisement seems to be selling something promising happiness.  This seems to be a big topic these days, and not being one to shy away from the big things, I decided I would share my views.

Is it possible that we have spent so much time and emphasis on this state of being that we’ve lost touch with what it really is?  Is it possible that we’ve mis-defined happiness?

It seems to me that maybe, just maybe, expectations of what happiness is are off.  Maybe because of social media and TV, hollywood and airbrushing, that many people are comparing their day-to-day lives with their Facebook friends’ “highlight reels”  Let’s face it, as the song goes “no one hangs bad times on the wall.”

I am learning that happiness is understood by so many as being this constant state of total bliss.  Boy, what a big order to fill!  I believe that by this desire or definition, people miss the happy moments and the gratitude that comes from fully experiencing and enjoying those just for what they are – moments.  In pursuit of grandeur so many people are missing the many joys in each day in search of those perfect days.  In the end, the pursuit of this constant state diminishes their daily joys and make them even less happy!  Hmmmm

When I ask my clients to describe what happiness is to them, I usually get a bit of a confused expression back.  When given some time to really think about the concept, I can often get a more clear response, but the fact is that many of the people who come to me in search of this illusive state have no clear personal definition to it.  Lesson one, you cannot successfully pursue something undefined.  It will forever remain illusive.

There are several exercises I work on with people to gain clarity and a definition of what they are truly in search of so that we can put together ways to bring more of these events, situations and moments into their lives.  What most people are interested to learn is that happiness is not just some glorious day filled with everything you love.  Happiness begins and grows with the little things that might bring a smile to your face, or just a small feeling of joy in a moment.

My opinion is that it is the cumulative collection of these moments and small things that bring a state of happiness.  Of course there will be days of complete bliss and days of sorrow, that is life, but the actual understanding of what makes someone happy and recognizing those items and moments is critical to one’s happiness.  When all is said and done, happiness is not so illusive after all!

So I ask you, what are your happy moments?  How can you bring more of those into your life?

My Happy Place

My Happy Place