Ever feel like you are moving through quicksand? Ever wonder why, try as you might, you just can’t get where you want to go? I believe this may be a sign, you may not want exactly what you think you want. Let me explain.
I have a client who came to me the other day at the end of a goal workshop. She came to tell me how inspired she was and how she couldn’t wait to begin working with me on her career goals. I briefly asked her what they were and she told me – she had this degree and she was tracking to get herself this dream job. Great, right? Everything in place and a clear direction! Except, you have to add in the human part.
I asked her if she had a mentor or knew anyone who had achieved what she wanted. Another big score, she said yes! She had talked to many people and they told her the only way to do this career was a certain path. Well, first off, anyone who knows me understands that “only way” is just a challenge in big, bold letters for me! But this is not me, so for this woman we had a direction, a path and a clear sense she was eligible for this whole desired outcome. Great!
Here is where the complications arose and the quicksand begins to develop. The track she needed to set herself on included two to three years of doing a job she just flat out really didn’t want to do! Here is where it all gets tricky for most people and I expect a few of you might be in a similar situation (clearly different but same). She kept moving on the same path hoping that it would change yet she was going no where and wasting so much time. She was in dead-end after dead-end jobs because she was trying to avoid the job she didn’t want to do, and she was still trying to get to her result the same way.
Enter E – your coach for change.
So I asked her, what is it about this end goal that inspires you; why do you want to be where you are looking to be? She explains (of course adding in that she doesn’t want to do what she’s been told is required, but she still wants this goal). I ask her, is there any other job in your field of choice that might have some of the same qualities of your goal job? Is there any other career that you can think of that might bring you the same satisfaction and joy of this goal job?
After a few questions and some thought, it turns out that there might be several options for her that might bring her the same, or close to the same, satisfaction that she desires, without the career track that she has been so desperate to avoid.
Watching her work through this thought process was like watching fog move out of the San Francisco Bay. At first it looks like it is never moving anywhere, then some movement begins, and with some gentle breezes and the persistence of the California sun, the whole sky clears and the beautiful Golden Gate bridge stands out among the bright blue sky.
Sometimes people get so stuck on one path that they fail to see other options. They are so focused on the decision they made and so intent upon working their plan that it blocks the signs that maybe, just maybe, they need to rethink their goal and maybe tweak it just a little.
If you find yourself striving and feeling like you are up against a wall or keep coming against wall after wall. If you feel like you are trying to run in quicksand, I suggest you stop! Think for a bit. Assess the signs, are they trying to get your attention? Might your GPS being trying to tell you, “make a u-turn when possible”?
Sometimes a rest stop along the highway of life gives you time to pull out the map and really figure out, is this the right destination I’m headed to? If there are things between me and my goal, are they movable? Are they something I even want to overcome or contend with? If the obstacles are so solid or against your true self, I believe you will sabotage any efforts you put forward because you can’t make yourself do something that you don’t want to do and have it turn out well! Try as you might, if you really, in your core are against doing something, you will move forward maybe, but you will be slogging it the entire way and come up against obstacle after obstacle at best or at worse just fail miserably for no reason. This is the Universe giving you signs – it is what you do with those signs that makes both the journey and the result worth the effort.
Take a moment to think about your path and your desires – have you been receiving signs? Are you on the right track or might you sit back and rethink how you might get your desired result by a different path?
The difference between reaching a goal at all costs, and reaching a goal that is in tune with who you truly are is the difference between accomplishment and success.